Swimwear can be precarious at the best of times. Those drawstring bikini bottoms don’t seem like such a good choice if one of the strings come undone. When you’re frolicking on the beach, the last thing you want is a public nip-slip. We all know with the internet nowadays that kinda of thing could be viral in minutes! I’ve had my fair share of dodgy swimwear incidents which I’m going to tell you all about. I’m also going to share my tips on how to avoid embarrassing swimwear moments so that none of you have to suffer the shame!
My Embarrassing Swimwear Moments
– Flow Riding in Thailand
For those of you who are not familiar with flow-riding, it’s basically an endless artificial wave that you can surf continuously. You can use a body board or stand-up board that looks a lot like a snowboard. I LOVE it! Anyway, the first time I tried it in Bangkok I wore shorts and a rash vest. Unfortunately for me my shorts were a bit loose and when the wave swept me away to the back of the flow-rider it was good-bye shorts and hello my pale behind! So I flailed around a bit, incredibly gracefully, until I recovered them and a tiny shred of my dignity. I got back on my board and looked nobody in the eye for the next 15 minutes! Absolutely mortified!
– Jumping off a Boat in Peru
I spent 6 weeks travelling around South America by myself when I was 22. While I was on a trip around Peru I visited Lake Titicaca with my tour group. We took a boat out into the middle of the lake. We were on our way to visit a couple of the islands populated by locals. ANYWAY the skipper asked us if we wanted to jump in. In the interest of adventure I climbed up to the top level of the boat and jumped. I wasn’t expecting it to be so cold. The water was 4 degrees CELSIUS. I also didn’t expect to hit the water with so much force! I didn’t hang around for a swim, I went straight back to the try and scramble on-board. Unfortunately there was no ladder to climb so the crew had to haul each of us back on board in another one of the most graceful moments of my life. Somewhere between the force of hitting the water and being hauled onto the boat my entire left boob came out of my bikini top. Unfortunately for me I didn’t notice until about 5 minutes later. Luckily I had a t-shirt on over my bikini, but it was essentially see-through so it didn’t do much for my modesty to be honest! Another proud moment!
– Taking off a Wetsuit in the Philippines
This is a CLASSIC swimwear mishap scenario. Depending on what you wear under a wetsuit, taking it off can be a pretty risky situation. Usually I unzip a bit, have a peek down, see if everything is still in place, then proceed with caution. However, in the Philippines, my wetsuit claimed the bottom half of my bikini as I was peeling it off in a hurry after a session of free-diving. Not ideal. Luckily my free-diving instructor never wore anything underneath her wetsuit, so she wasn’t the type to be shocked by anything.
Tips For Finding Reliable Swimwear
If you have a smaller bust then that’s one less thing (or two less things) for you to worry about, but for ladies with bigger boobs then I highly recommend a high necked, sports cut style swimsuit. That will 100% stop anything from slipping out.
If you’re doing anything sporty then I recommend staying away from a bikini and going for a more full coverage one piece. That way it’s physically impossible for the bottoms to come down, or for the girls to pop out at any stage. If you HAVE to wear a bikini then always look for a sporty one that fits like a glove. You don’t want any drawstrings, lace-ups, ruffles or loose bits.
Personally I love the surf-style, long-sleeved one pieces for thinks like surfing, flow-riders, snorkelling etc. They’re more practical in so many ways, super flattering and protect you from the sun. And in case you’re worried, this kind of swimwear doesn’t have to be ugly! There are plenty of gorgeous, bright, colourful designs out there that you’re bound to find out to suit you. If you’re need to buy a new one piece after reading this then have a look at some of these sporty, fuller-coverage examples of ladies swimwear.
Do you have any swimwear disaster stories?
Do you have any tips for choosing less-risky swimwear?!